Your Ego Is a Shitty Coach
And yet, somehow, you keep hiring it.
Your ego might sound like it’s pushing you, but it’s often just flattering you into staying exactly where you are. Real grit? That comes from knowing when to push, when to rest, and when to shut the inner hype-man up. That’s why a coach matters — and no, your ego doesn’t count.
"Your ego doesn’t care if you fail. It just wants to be right"-- Chris Unfiltered
Let’s get one thing straight: your ego is not your ally. It’s loud, it’s needy, and it tells you exactly what you want to hear… not what you need to. And if you’re training, racing, or just trying to grow, that inner voice can be the most dangerous coach in the room.
Your ego is a shitty coach. But you keep hiring it anyway. That’s the problem.
It tells you you’re doing great — and maybe you are. Heart rate up, sweat on, distance logged. But then it throws in a little smug superiority. You overtook someone? Must mean you’re elite. Did a 5K this weekend? That makes you the toughest in the office, right?
Thing is: we’ve all got egos. And when they run the show, they don’t care about progress — they care about feeling right.
We’ve heard the marshmallow test metaphor before: wait and get three treats, or take the one now. That whole ‘delay gratification for greater gains’ thing. Useful? Sometimes. But ego always wants the hit now.
It shows up in training, in sparring, in life. Like the time I was paired with a new guy in martial arts. Should’ve been light sparring. Should’ve been respectful. Instead, he tried to kick my head off. And instead of brushing it off and staying composed — I let the ego off the leash.
What followed wasn’t martial arts. It was a street fight. Sloppy. Angry. A waste.
My coach let it roll. Afterwards, he looked at me and said:
“Whatever happened, you deserved it.”
I was fuming. But he was right. I got drawn into his fight. I came down to his level. And I lost the moment I let that happen.
Because that’s the ego’s game. Win the moment. Feel superior. Prove your worth. Doesn’t matter if it’s training, work, or life. It’ll push you into comfort disguised as pride. It’ll whisper that you’re already doing enough.
Let’s say you’ve been lifting for years. You look strong, move weight, got the ‘gym guy’ physique. But then someone half your size out-lifts you. Ego goes nuts.
Or you’re crushing it at work. Big salary, nice house, car on the drive. But you’re miserable. Because deep down, you’re not fulfilled — just playing the role your ego signed you up for.
I had a mate like that. Said he envied me. Me — the guy without the shiny toys but with a body that worked, a brain that felt alive, and the clarity to know what matters.
Your ego? It’s all about perception. Coaches? They’re about reality.
The takeaway (without fries): Your ego is loud, reactive, and obsessed with comfort disguised as effort. A coach isn’t there to cheer you on for mediocre wins — they’re there to challenge your blind spots, call out your excuses, and help you grow beyond your own noise.
So what can you do about it?
-
Recognize the voice. Ego sounds like pride, panic, or self-praise. Learn to tell the difference between instinct and ego.
-
Stop taking every thought seriously. Just because your brain says “you smashed it” doesn’t mean you actually did.
-
Reflect after sessions. Not just what you did — how you did it. Were you chasing validation or building capacity?
-
Get a coach. One who challenges you, not coddles you. Ego is reactive. Coaching is strategic.
-
Feed the right dog. You know the story — the one you feed is the one that grows.
Ego will always have something to say. But grit listens differently.
Want someone who gives a damn about your goals — not your comfort?
Get a coach (a good one). If you want a Grittest-certified one: Check out Liza at Different Breed. She’s not your hype squad. She’s the real deal.
Chris Unfiltered
Raw. Relentless. Real. Chris doesn’t sugar-coat life’s challenges. With decades of grit and resilience, he turns obstacles into fuel — and shows you how to do the same. No fluff. Just truth.
